My Spiritual Jihad: Getting Engaged.

You wouldn’t think it, but my engagement to my boyfriend last night, is my “jihad”. That word gets thrown a lot around by the media, but what does it really mean and why is it a battle to me?

Take a look at this link to learn what the Islamic Supreme Council says a “jihad” is:

This is a huge inner spiritual struggle for me getting engaged. I don’t take love lightly, and although I have never known hate or wrath without enemies of war trying to kill me…I have known loss of love, and my own isolation from people. I was trapped in my own state of “hell” for a few years, until a man came into my life when I was determined to try to evolve my soul. Before him, the inner demons whispered to me, that it would be best to be alone…and to remain in the darkness without love.

I took a step 4 years ago to let someone in, and he didn’t leave me as a friend and more. Now I am on the ultimate lesson to learn how to love fully as a fiancee and eventually wife, and be able to move past the fear of death and loss-again.

When you experience great loss, you are aware of it. It makes you wise and weathered with experience, but it also makes you have a pain that will not heal and a great fear. So like any servant of God, I must pick up the pain and suffering as a test to my soul and move forwards into new light.

God Wills it. It’s part of how we evolve as a species. We meet another and move forwards creating the next humans….so here we go…to fight my inner demons and darkness that threatens to put me in a state of inaction and fear.

This is my battle and I am ready. This is my jihad that I must alone face.

I share this with all of you in hopes it gives you strength in fighting your inner demons too.


Heaven in the Quran is Rivendell.

No, there are no 72 virgin maids in Heaven awaiting muslims. That old wives’ tale got passed down throughout time and somehow got into the ears of Fox News. Stick with my blog, and you will never see it once in the Quran mentioned.

Many people would be excited to know the description of heaven is very much a physical earthly place with pure beings as companions. It is the next level up in living life on earth. Just as the High Elves were older and wiser than mankind on Middle Earth in Tolkein’s Lord of the Rings, so will we be in the state of heavenly bliss.

While reading the parts about Heaven, I remember tears forming in my eyes as I thought that it sounded like the perfect resting place for my weary mind and body after life:


And give good tidings to those who believe and do righteous deeds that they will have gardens [in Paradise] beneath which rivers flow. Whenever they are provided with a provision of fruit therefrom, they will say, “This is what we were provided with before.” And it is given to them in likeness. And they will have therein purified spouses, and they will abide therein eternally.

And as you can see it will be human souls surrounded by beautiful and pure beings who are also companions of the light of God. This could be your loved ones or it could be new friends you may meet who also joined union with God in the past and present…


Shall I inform you of something better than that? For those who keep from evil, with their Lord, are Gardens underneath which rivers flow wherein they will abide, and pure companions, and contentment from God. God is Seer of His servants.

Why rivers and water in an earthly paradise? Because symbolically and physically water is the element to soothe, heal and rejuvenate. It is the opposite energy of fire and it is the bringer of life. All life stemmed from water and evolved first from it we are told in the Quran:



And the coming back to water to rest in peace is symbolic to show the soul completion and full cycle attained. Now the believers may rest and soothe their souls. While those with burning still of regret, pain, and suffering will experience the element of fire that keeps them moving, spiritually.


And the companions of the Fire will call to the companions of Paradise, “Pour upon us some water or from whatever God has provided you.” They will say, “Indeed, God has forbidden them both to the disbelievers.”

If you work through your issues, be a good person and not die in regret of doing wrong to others-you will finally have peace and waters flowing….


God will say, “This is the Day when the truthful will benefit from their truthfulness.” For them are gardens [in Paradise] beneath which rivers flow, wherein they will abide forever, God being pleased with them, and they with Him. That is the great attainment.





Satan Can No Longer Be Blamed.

Satan is not here on earth in physical form-not one physical form that is. Satan is not in an anti-christ baby or person right now alive on earth. Satan is inside people who allow “him” to be. Satan is inside the person who trolls the internet and gets joy out of bullying people. Satan is inside of a person who chooses to be greedy over sharing with others. Satan is inside of a person who is so angry that they have to lash out at others without thought-killing or injuring others. Satan is inside those who seek revenge instead of forgiveness. Satan is inside those who seek sexual gratification without love or care for the other person. Satan is inside those who delve into the excess of life in money, drink, gambling, and drugs, bringing more attachment to this earth. Satan is most certainly in the dictators and corrupt leaders of the earth creating loss for their own gain.

It is the dark side of our human nature that we must learn to overcome. In year 2016, we can no longer look for the creature with horns and a red body that does evil things to our world. We must now evolve to see that God guided us to realize the truth of Satan as the “prince of Air”. Air is everywhere and yet nowhere in physical shape or form. This is what the religious texts were trying to tell us. Satan is the desires and egos that get us off the straight path.

This should actually be comforting news to you. It means you have the power over Satan! It is all in you and the people whether evil reigns on earth or not. No longer can we blame an unknown entity for the evils and wrongs, now it is time to admit to our mistakes to our own selves and start to evolve as a species. The story of Adam and Eve in the Garden with the snake is symbolism with deep inner truths to our nature. We must take these ideas now and learn from them.

Yes, we still will be punished in the consciousness of hell if we follow Satan’s footsteps. It is karma and a consequence to being out of connection with God. Hell could very much could be the reliving of the pain given to others and feeling that same suffering back. Our punishment will not be dealt by God with a paddle and a bunch of demons, it will be by the balancing forces of God that create realizations and hard lessons to learn from-if you are not willing to learn from them at first.

Please stop blaming the devil on the evil in the world and start to be an active force to fight against the hate and evil. YOU are responsible. We are all responsible for allowing evil to happen on earth. If every human stopped listening to the whispers of their ego and selfish desires, there would no longer be a devil…and only God would be left to see shining out of people.



In the name of God, the Gracious, the Merciful.

 Say, “I seek refuge in the Lord of mankind.

 The King of mankind.

The God of mankind.

 From the evil of the sneaky whisperer.

 Who whispers into the hearts of people.

 From among jinn and among people.”








A New Year. A New World. Let’s Awake.

This New Year Resolution list isn’t JUST for myself cause really I have been on a path of transformation that is moving forward without the stroke of midnight tomorrow.  I will keep working at my own flaws, I am constantly reinventing myself and trying to improve myself almost to an obsession. I will work on me more, I promise.

But I hope that in 2016, we will see a new vision of each other as people emerge. I am aware like Gandhi said that if I want to see change in the world, I need to become that change. So I will keep working on myself, and here’s the things I would love to see in 2016 from others:

  • More people take up the responsibility of speaking out against unjust and corrupt systems. This can be done through blogging, facebook, letters, protests, emails and phone calls. It can be peaceful, but we need to let those in charge know that we the people are ready for a change.
  • Wars put on a temporary hold for the soldiers and people overseas who are dying by the hand full. Matters need to be revisited and looked at from other perspectives. It also will give a chance for the people to see what each side really wants and how to achieve both.
  • More people read the Quran and see the verses are not as violent as they are being portrayed as instead of blindly following the news and Sam Harris. There is WAY too much “Islamphobia” today, and I hope we can start to move past the fear. Not only the Quran, but maybe read everyone’s religious books to learn more and get rid of ignorance of other’s cultures and belief structures.
  • People need to take a look at their fellow beings who are sleeping on the street and try to help them with anything they can (extra food, water, shelter, money). I think we all can do a little bit better this year. I know I can, and will keep looking for ways to help those in desolate situations. Everyone should have shoes on their feet with a Payless shoe store around the U.S…maybe we can all pitch in a few dollars for shoes when we see a homeless shoeless person? I don’t know. It’s just a thought.
  • I want to see people get in touch with their sentimental nature and sensitive side more. I feel a lot of problems in society are happening because of the repressive nature of society to our emotions. Let’s stop hurting each other and see what is causing our own pain. Don’t be afraid to go within to heal the past, this year.
  • More animals being taken better care of, this hunting of wild exotic animals NOT used for food, but only for sport, needs to stop. Since when did it become fun to take a living  being’s life?
  • Abuse of children, spouses, animals need to STOP. We need to start to see that as we hurt others, we in turn our hurting our own selves…and souls. The suffering that we cause others will be done back to ourselves. More people need to wake up to this.

We can’t change the presidential candidates and the systems that control us, but we can change what we as people do for one another. Let’s create a new year that is better for all of us equally!




Islam and the Big Bank Bailout of America.



Just saw the movie, the Big Short. This movie was EXCELLENT! Highly recommend it if you are a “truth seeker” like me, and it doesn’t scare you to know how or why things are the way they are in the world.

I hope everyone sees this movie. I think everyone in America needs to see how GREED has affected our country and our people. You don’t realize how corrupt America is until you see the big bank bailout and home foreclosure acted out by Brad Pitt and Ryan Gosling. Maybe now people will listen and see some serious corruption in the economic sphere.

Go see it or wait for it to rent, but it may make you angry…and sad. At the end of the movie you realize that the rich got away with things and stayed rich, while the middle class people had to pay dearly for the rich’s lack of responsibility and greediness. I went home with a stomachache and a prayer for us as a country.

While people are screaming about how “violent” Islam is, let me remind people that the major idea the Quran pushes is equality of wealth distribution. Every “spoil of war” that Muhammad had won was told to be shared with the poor, orphans, and needy. There is no getting away from that. Islam, regardless what you interpret the violent verses to mean, there is MAJOR obligation to give charity and not hoard wealth. Also there is absolutely to be no interest added onto a debt. No usury of any kind.


And if someone is in hardship, then [let there be] postponement until [a time of] ease. But if you give [from your right as] charity, then it is better for you, if you only knew.

So in a society that would follow the tenants of the Quran, these tragic situations of the banks would not happen and people would never lose their jobs, or homes. In 2007, the economic bubble burst and it left 5 million jobless all because banks and loan companies got greedy. I am not an economic major so I can’t explain exactly what happens. Just know there are A LOT of people in life to just make money and you see this through the movie which is a true story. They have sold their souls for a quick million.

Moses also received these same revelations, but it got altered over time and so the 7 years off and on of debt rule came about.


Or do you ask of them a payment, so they are by debt burdened down?

But the Quran actually teaches that you can NEVER keep someone in debt through interest. Think about it: the people who come for the loans in the first place need it financially, and if you tack on more money to owe on the end, then you place them further in debt. Trapping them completely making them your slaves. We are in debt to the Central Banks today as Americans.

Woodrow Wilson signed an agreement with the Central Bankers that put us in great debt in 1919 after WW1. Biggest regret ever.

maxresdefault (1)

While Americans are shown youtube videos of ISIS chopping off heads or threatening us, they are distracted to not look further into the rules that Islam institutes. It’s all a distraction to get people to not see the truth of the matter. We have some extremely greedy people in the world and they want all the cars, homes, material possessions to themselves for the least amount of work, and they never learned how to share with others.

Can I just say right here, that if you suffered personally from the greed of these people and lost a home, job, well being in 06-07’…I am sorry. Let me remind you while you struggle on earth to make a honest living, stay a good person and don’t do things to morally corrupt who you are at the core-you will be rich spiritually and that is so much more than having lots of money. ❤


Righteousness is not that you turn your faces toward the east or the west, but [true] righteousness is [in] one who believes in Allah , the Last Day, the angels, the Book, and the prophets and gives wealth, in spite of love for it, to relatives, orphans, the needy, the traveler, those who ask [for help], and for freeing slaves; [and who] establishes prayer and gives charity; [those who] fulfill their promise when they promise; and [those who] are patient in poverty and hardship and during battle. Those are the ones who have been true, and it is those who are the righteous.


Surah Yunus: Chapter 10 (line 60-70) Jonah

60. What will they think-those who fabricate lies and attribute them to God-on the Day of Resurrection? God is bountiful towards the people, but most of them do not give thanks.

61. You do not get into any situation, nor do you recite any Quran, nor do you do anything, but We are watching over you as you undertake it. Not even the weight of an atom, on earth or in the sky, escapes your Lord, nor is there anything smaller or larger, but is in a clear record.

62. Unquestionably, God’s friends have nothing to fear, nor shall they grieve.

63. Those who believe and are aware.

64. For them is good news in this life, and in the Hereafter. There is no alteration to the words of God. That is the supreme triumph.

65. And let not their sayings dishearten you. All power is God’s. He is the Hearer, the Knower.

66. Certainly, to God belongs everyone in the heavens and everyone on earth. Those who invoke other than God do not follow partners; they follow only assumptions, and they only guess.

67. It is He who made the night for your rest, and the daylight for visibility. Surely in that are signs for people who listen.

68. And they said, “God has taken a son.” Be He glorified. He is the Self-Sufficient. His is everything in the heavens and everything on earth. Do you have any proof for this? Or are you saying about God what you do not know?

69. Say, “Those who fabricate lies about God will not succeed.”

70. Some enjoyment in this world; then to Us is their return; then We will make them taste the severe punishment on account of their disbelief.

My interpretation: 

These verses get deeper into issues at hand at this time in history. If you are Christian, try to to keep an open mind with the next lines. You must understand that after Jesus died, Christianity took on a very pagan and fanatical approach to religion. It’s not only Christianity that did this, almost every religion did because of the wrong people who took charge due to the the lust for power, fame, and wealth. Islam at this time is at it’s pure state, but what happened to the religion after Muhammad died will be judged too.

We have had some great religious leaders, but if you really do research into WHO these men were you will see many killed people, had people tortured and killed for not accepting their  ideologies that lead them to rule others. So I ask you Christians to see these following lines in the Quran as the literal interpretation of Jesus at the time.

Line 61, everything is on record in the Book of Life that God as a Supreme Consciousness holds. How I see this is that everything is recorded as energy and it can be played back to show you moments of where you fell in your state of consciousness or where you rose above the earthly desires. So EVERYTHING goes back to God eventually, and Muhammad is to keep telling the people this so they understand that these revelations do not come from a human. They come from a source that wants to help reveal the truth and soothe the suffering of the innocents being taken advantage of on earth- God’s friends.

For God’s believers who are friends of God and the Angels, they will receive joy and bliss in a way they were not allowed to on earth because of selfish people. The Quran is a joy to those who have suffered at the hands of evil!

Line 65 shows a very real truth that has happened in the past and is STILL happening within some branches of Christianity and Judaism. Depending on what church, pastor or priest you have today you may hear that ONLY Christians are going to Heaven, or only Jews. This is the major idea that the Quran teaches. It is wrong, soulfully wrong to judge where others go in death if they are innocent people from a different nation or culture. At this time in history, the Christians and Jews were claiming to be the only ones who go to Heaven. The Quran is trying to correct this and so Muhammad is told to tell the good people in audience to him to not worry about what they say. God sees the priesthood and rabbi’s lies. It is not the faith that makes a person good or not.

Evoking Jesus, and Mary as a god or goddess that was something was beginning to be done in pagan rituals. I won’t go too deep into it, but some very strange things indeed was made up about Jesus and Mary. It split God up into sects and divided the religion of Christianity. Regardless what you believe today, you have to understand the Quran is trying to help those who have been persecuted by the pagans and the religious leaders of other religions. Islam was starting to gain a name and unfortunately some priests and rabbis did not understand, this path was to the same God.

To say God has a physical son is once again bringing in the wrong nature of God to be a man or manlike deity. So Line 68 is showing the error in this idea since God never said before in any of the texts, he had a son, or wife. This is something that later got created by the church. God isn’t a man and Muslims will never see God as such.

The ones again with “disbelief” are the ones that could disbelieve in the unity of God and did not have faith to see Islam as part of the message causing more chaos and division between nations. Certain religious leaders that spread the hate and misunderstanding will be held accounted for what they have done. The Spanish Inquisition comes to mind and many other persecutions done by the church.

Regardless what you believe today as a good hearted Christian, please understand the enormous power and control the Christians and Catholics started to have on the nations. Much of the power was used in poor ways to persecute and kill those who didn’t fit into their belief structure. If you spoke out against the tyranny they called “divine rule”, you would be branded a heretic or killed. As we learn in the Quran, you can only kill those who come after you, in self defense only or a righteous battle. The Christian church that killed innocent pagans in villages and tormented people because they could not accept the king’s form of Christianity, is being spoken about right here.

Victim of the Spanish Inquisition started by the Spanish Monarchy in 1478.






Surah Yunus: Chapter 10 (line 50-60) Jonah

50. Say, “Have you considered? If His punishment overtakes you by night or by day, what part of it will the guilty seek to hasten?”

51. “Then, when it falls, will you believe in it? Now? When before you tried to hasten it?”

52. Then it will be said to those who did wrong, “Taste the torment of eternity. Will you be rewarded except for what you used to do?”

53. And they inquire of you, “Is it true?” Say, “Yes, by my Lord, it is true, and you cannot evade it.”

54. Had every soul which had done wrong possessed everything on earth, it would offer it as a ransom. They will hide the remorse when they witness the suffering, and it will be judged between them equitably, and they will not be wronged.

55. Assuredly, to God belongs everything in the heavens and the earth. Assuredly, the promise of God is true. But most of them do not know.

56. He gives life and causes death, and to Him you will be returned.

57. O people! There has come to you advice from your Lord, and healing for what is in the hearts, and guidance and mercy for the believers.

58. Say, “In God’s grace and mercy let them rejoice. That is better than what they hoard.”

59. Say, “Have you considered the sustenance God has sent down for you, some of which you made unlawful, and some lawful?” Say, “Did God give you permission, or do you fabricate lies and attribute them to God?”

60. What will they think-those who fabricate lies and attribute them to God-on the Day of Resurrection? God is bountiful towards the people, but most of them do not give thanks.

My interpretation: 

Muhammad is told to tell the people that when the time comes for the truth to be revealed, it could be too late by then to believe. So faith is asked of people before the Last Days. The people who have done pure evil on earth to others and made their lives miserable will taste the torments they have give. It is karma and a natural consequence of evil actions.

If the people ask Muhammad if what he warns about is true, he is to tell them that what the people receive back from their deeds can not be avoided. It is all seen by God and will be shown to them of what they do, both good and bad. If you are a good person who gives to others freely, you will experience the rewards of doing good. If you are an evil person that harms others, you also will experience back what you have done.

Line 54 shows that the truth will be shown to those who did wrong and they will finally see the suffering they caused. They will wish to free themselves from this now knowing the truth with all their “things”collected, but it is too late in death. They will try to give up the wealth that they hoarded while others died, after they see the suffering they caused and finally know the truth. They have already lived a life full of empty value and evil towards others. They will hide their remorse for others’ suffering, but they will be seen. They can not hide. Their judgement will be equal to the amount of good or bad they put out into the world. Everything is fair and just and nobody will be wronged when the Judgement day arrives.

Everything is from God. Life and death is from God according to what is in the Plan that only He can see. This Quran is advice, healing and a warning to the people that acts as a “third” chance for mankind since the warnings came from the other religious texts already. The Quran is the third and the last because there is nothing new to be known. You reap what you sow, and religious leaders can not substitute that with their teachings.

Line 58 shows that people should rejoice at the revelations of the Quran and see more value to it than the materials and things they hoard. Muhammad is then to challenge those who altered the first commandments of God and to call them out for fabricating ideas about God’s words.

There is a warning to those who fabricate God’s words, that they will be judged for what they have done. The people who have consciously altered religion to fit their needs will not experience Heaven, Muhammad is to warn them to get back on track to what was the original words of God. In the Quran is the original words as another mercy to mankind. Those who don’t see that, miss out on learning some important truths about humans, religion, and God that the other books failed to give in order to keep humans’ focus on the wrong things for salvation.

Now we are starting to understand who are the true “disbelievers” in the Quran. Those who strayed enough from faith to cause chaos and division within religion.


Surah Yunus: Chapter 10 (line 40-50) Jonah

40. Among them are those who believe in it, and among them are those who do not believe in it. Your Lord is fully aware of the mischief-makers.

41. If they accuse you of lying, say, “I have my deeds, and you have your deeds. You are quit of what I do, and I am quit of what you do.”

42. And among them are those who listen to you. But can you make the deaf hear, even though they do not understand?

43. And among them are those who look at you. But can you guide the blind, even though they do not see?

44. God does not wrong the people in the least, but the people wrong their own selves.

45. On the Day when He rounds them up-as if they had tarried only one hour of a day-they will recognize one another. Those who denied the meeting with God will be the losers. They were not guided.

46. Whether We show you some of what We promise them, or take you, to Us is their return. God is witness to everything they do.

47. Every community has a messenger. When their messenger has come, judgment will be passed between them with fairness, and they will not be wronged.

48. And they say, “When will this promise be fulfilled, if you are truthful?”

49. Say, “I have no power to harm or benefit myself, except as God wills. To every nation is an appointed time. Then, when their time arrives, they can neither postpone it by one hour, nor advance it.

50. Say, “Have you considered? If His punishment overtakes you by night or by day, what part of it will the guilty seek to hasten?”

My interpretation: 

Gabriel is telling Muhammad to know that God sees the mischief makers on earth. If they accuse Muhammad of lying when giving this wisdom, then Muhammad is told to ignore them and say basically, “you have your path, and I have mine”.

Many people who can hear perfectly fine can not process the information in their brains as truths. Be it the blocks they put on themselves or the distrust and lack of faith that they have. Many people who see fine with their eyes, are actually blind to the truth when it is staring right at them. This is also a reason to be able to use your third eye by listening to your intuition and know the truth from the lies.

Line 44, is something I wish I could copy, paste, and post all over the internet. Every time I see a comment against God that says He created bad and evil things on earth, this is the best rebuttal you can give. God does not wrong the people, they wrong themselves. Big corporations have a choice to be greedy or not, and people have a choice to allow them to exist. The Quran is for the revolutionist at heart who sees what needs to be changed and knows that the Mecca leaders of the past would not change on their own. If nothing was done, than the muslims had no right to complain about the injustice. God would have not wronged them, they would have wronged themselves by choosing to NOT listen to God.

Line 45 is where we see time being extracted from a human level. The Judgement Day is a day when all evil people are rounded up and their lives come to an ending moment of feeling like they only waited for a hour for the end. The disbelievers will recognize each other by identification of the soul for the dark path that they followed and they will be the losers who lose out on being in the blissful state of Heaven. They were not guided cause they did not allow themselves or ask to be guided to the straight path to God when given a chance.

Next line shows that Muhammad could be shown the fate of people who don’t believe or he can be taken away from them in a rapture like event. It does not matter, all people eventually return back to God. So with or without Muhammad is not important. He is only a messenger and not responsible for their deeds. It is what the individual soul does themselves.

Line 47 is so important and what brought me my understanding of unity between all religions: Every nation or community has had a messenger. It is up to the people to either take these messages and warnings as truth or mock, ridicule, and distort them. God sees all that they do and no wrong shall be done because judgement will pass in total fairness. Every soul will earn back what they put out into the world.

They ask Muhammad and will continue to ask him when God’s last days are. Muhammad is to tell them that he is only able to speak about things he was guided about and they should not want to hasten judgement. Because on that day, people who THINK they will see Heaven because of what rituals and religious leaders they followed, will be humiliated. They may be humiliated to learn that the path they have followed has been not to worship God, but to worship Satan (ego, idols, hate, money, power, control, anger, chaos) instead.

So Muhammad is to say to them don’t hasten Judgement Day, because for many guilty, it will not be a day they want to draw close to them faster than it already is coming for them all in the future.

Let this be another reminder to those looking for the apocalypse. Be careful what you wish for and really prepare yourself spiritually for a time like this. Are you soul ready?