My Spiritual Jihad: Getting Engaged.

You wouldn’t think it, but my engagement to my boyfriend last night, is my “jihad”. That word gets thrown a lot around by the media, but what does it really mean and why is it a battle to me?

Take a look at this link to learn what the Islamic Supreme Council says a “jihad” is:

http://islamicsupremecouncil.org/understanding-islam/legal-rulings/5-jihad-a-misunderstood-concept-from-islam.html?start=9

This is a huge inner spiritual struggle for me getting engaged. I don’t take love lightly, and although I have never known hate or wrath without enemies of war trying to kill me…I have known loss of love, and my own isolation from people. I was trapped in my own state of “hell” for a few years, until a man came into my life when I was determined to try to evolve my soul. Before him, the inner demons whispered to me, that it would be best to be alone…and to remain in the darkness without love.

I took a step 4 years ago to let someone in, and he didn’t leave me as a friend and more. Now I am on the ultimate lesson to learn how to love fully as a fiancee and eventually wife, and be able to move past the fear of death and loss-again.

When you experience great loss, you are aware of it. It makes you wise and weathered with experience, but it also makes you have a pain that will not heal and a great fear. So like any servant of God, I must pick up the pain and suffering as a test to my soul and move forwards into new light.

God Wills it. It’s part of how we evolve as a species. We meet another and move forwards creating the next humans….so here we go…to fight my inner demons and darkness that threatens to put me in a state of inaction and fear.

This is my battle and I am ready. This is my jihad that I must alone face.

I share this with all of you in hopes it gives you strength in fighting your inner demons too.

life

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