I wanted to write about what it means to be able to have faith, and see the esoteric meanings in the holy books. I would like to give you a glimpse into my daily life and how it actually FEELS being me as a Muslim, knowing what I know about the Quran and humanity.
My day starts out like any other human, I am groggy from the sleep and often ponder why do I have to go to work that day. I do my morning prayers and get down on my knees in a form of meditation and bowing to a Higher Power outside my self. Since the Quran is never specific on what to pray except for the first Surah, I just talk to God and tell Him my plans to help others see the Light of God more. Sometimes, I do get tearful because of so much ignorance in the world of His immense beauty and mercy. Often times, I am tearful because I am grateful for the blessings given to me.
What happens next is the starting of my day. Sometimes, I put on Unsolved Mysteries and other times Dr.Phill is in the background. Depends on my mood. I often enjoy hearing about the unsolved mysteries of the world, knowing deep down ALL the truth will come out and this show often times shows people that this material world is not so black and white all the time. I like mysteries and I also like to try to solve them in my mind, which is why I became a spiritual seeker in the first place.
I enjoy Dr. Phill ,because he is a “no nonsense” type of guy that truly tells people the way it is. I enjoy his immense ability to perceive things they way they are-he is very perceptive and he is able to get people to see things in a brand new light.
Next, I go out the door, with ear phones on listening to music while I walk to the train. The music I enjoy is either really spacey new age, calming spa music, or a gentle indie station with meaningful lyrics to ponder. As I walk through the streets, I always glance at the sun in the sky and the bright beautiful open space above me with a knowing little “nod” to the angels and God. Not that I see God sitting on a cloud, but I see God in a higher realm that can only be reached through higher consciousness of thought. And that sun was created as a lamp to warm the little creations on this planet. I feel the immense love for life from God and the angels who work to guide humans, as their younger brothers and sisters.
As I give my little tearful grateful smile at the sky, I rush along the streets looking at people around me. I like to notice where they are in life. I also unconsciously look for people in need of something-maybe they can’t get down the stairs. Maybe they are having problems opening the door or using the ticket purchase station. Wherever there is need, my eyes see them. I will go to someone if they need help and lend a hand letting them know, someone cares…I am there for them. It just feels like this is what makes life worth living.
I glance around on the train around me, looking for that shining light of God. Sometimes I see it when a person offers a chair to an elderly, and sometimes I don’t, when people are pushing each other to get into the train, I then see only their ego coming through. I just like to observe and see where people are in their different levels of consciousness. I do not judge them as evil, only as ignorant to the truth I have discovered that we are all one unit.
Next, I usually walk to work from the train. Here my steps get more confident in seeing glimmers of God everywhere or the opposite of God which is greediness, selfishness, etc. But by then, because my focus has been on the Godly things people have done for each other, the ungodly things do not phase me. I will be that person who stands up to others if they get too rude, loud, or in general are disturbing others. I tend to see it as a reminder as I scold, as in they should know better-the conscious part of them does.
On my way through the streets to my work, I occasionally smile to strangers or will gaze around me at the beautiful creation that God created for us. Even in its ugliest forms, there is still beauty and I see it. In a city with graffiti everywhere, it just shows me the sometimes “randomness and rebelliousness” of human nature. God is funny like that, we can stretch as far as we want away from the Source or God, but as soon as we get too far away, God pulls us back somehow with reminding us with laws and penalties we may experience in the world.
When I arrive at work, the reality sets in. I am here now to do a duty, and although we are all creations of God, I must now play a role as a teacher or guide to children and my staff. So I do. And I take my job seriously. I don’t let a single “hit or kick” go un-reprimanded on the playground. I am constantly spending my day teaching kids social behaviors that will help them keep the peace and make less enemies in life by their actions…as well as trying to show them that humanity needs them to choose to be good for the sake of being our next generation in charge.
As I watch all the young souls running around, I am reminded of how earth is much like a school and we all have our different journeys to go on, but we are at different levels of consciousness all the time. Allah/God in the Quran constantly asks, “Will they not ponder the words?” as in a way to get us to think first than react always emotionally from ego. Children react, and yes although they are sweet and innocent of many evils since their egos aren’t fully developed, they also are babies in their understandings of unity. They do not know that Suzy is just another spiritual creation of Tommy, and in order to make their experiences more fun, they shouldn’t hit one another when trying to get what they want.
My day goes in and out of consciousness levels, talking to adults and children. I connect to those during the day that are kind, and don’t take out their issues on others. If I am in a “mood”, I warn my staff to beware….I am in a lower state of mind that day. But these lower states of mind do not last long and actually with a simple thought or asking God for strength to get through the day, I am fine again and smiling.
They used to last for weeks, and it’s called depression. I used to feel so alone, like nobody cared, and when I finally realized that nobody will care unless I cared for them…that’s when things changed. I also discovered a loving force behind the universe as I learned about life on other planets and the millions of galaxies astronomers are discovering. I stopped being the victim and I took actions. I became a servant of good for God instead of sitting there and wasting this experience.
My days are filled with great joy in my understanding and I can make my perspective grow larger at crucial times and look outside of myself at others. I no longer take things so personally or think that people are mean or bad. Something happened to them, and I see it in children as well. When a child hits another or does something mean, it is because they are not feeling right inside. Something is bothering them, and I do my best to find out what it is to help them and clear that dark shadow away from their mind. Something caused this ignorance and as a teacher, I am here to educate them on what they missed.
When I go home at night, I think to myself how exhausted I am through my day and how I wish I could just rest forever. I often times will see me happily enter in the warm white light of heavenly bliss with all other good souls on earth, but I know I have a few things to do first. I am happy and grateful for the day and the lessons and joys I experienced. So by the time, I go home, I am ready to really unwind and experience love with my fiancé, that I have not gotten from strangers all day. Yes, he recharges my battery you can say and reflects back all the love that I gave out to others. He is my twin flame.
At night, before bed, I say a prayer again to thank the Lord for all the amazing blessings I have and to help me awaken others to be able to have them as well. It is not the most psychically exciting life right now at this moment (I don’t have kids yet ;)), but it is a rich spiritually one and really not much phases me..I am finally at peace when at one time I was not.
Ignorance of our unity and God’s goodness, is what makes a person evil. God does not create evil people…only gives them the free will to choose to have the knowledge that they need in order to become good.
And that knowledge is: Unity