My Personal Story to Islam (for anyone interested)




I was born into a family that provided me with knowledge about the world in an energetic way and to see everyone as equal. My father had no remaining relatives from his side and my mother’s family was all overseas. My father was not a religious man, but he believed in a consciousness that exists outside the self. He had eastern philosophies, but dared not label himself. My mother, I unfortunately never got to know on a spiritual level because as soon as these questions formed in my mind about life, she passed away from a brain tumor at my age of 14. I have no idea of her thoughts on God, but I remember she did not like me saying, “Oh God!” in front of her and I think she sang in a church choir. She was a kind and warm woman, that till this day I believe is watching over me or in some way giving me guidance. My dad tenderly refers to her as a woman with “not a bad bone in her body”.

My journey to discover God, was quite a long and twisted road, as many others I am sure. I remember sneaking off to church with a good friend when I was younger since my dad was against any “dogma”, as he would call it. I felt a disconnect from the Christians in that church, but it was a happy place to go to and I felt loved by others. I loved learning about Jesus and God in a way my father could not show me. Yet, I felt like a stranger looking into a party, I could never join. Soon that friendship ended due to her being younger than me, just growing up and moving onto a different school. I forgot about God for a very long time after that. Yet, God found me again, as I asked questions. I remember as I said goodbye to my mother’s cold dead body one night, in the hospital room…I knew she was not there. Her essence, her soul was gone and I was looking at nothing more than just a shell. Where did she go? I wondered. I had a glimmer of hope she was somewhere else…happier.

However, I did not wonder long because since she died when I was in high school, I was  entering into a world of self doubt, self-consciousness, and trying to find my place in the world of teenagers. I discovered that I did not have the emotional capacity to grieve yet. I also was having a hard time adjusting to a new stepmother and her daughter, who now I gladly call a sister. My father was a very stoic man who had bursts of anger while dealing with his grief of losing his wife, so I also was dealing with that. Kids can be cruel, especially with a very emotional little teen like me. I forgot about God for a long time and I constantly focused on my inner sadness of losing my mother. I went through lots of school counseling and skipping classes (especially math where they would not tolerate emotions) to get away from the pain inside. The only escape I found was through singing and acting. So I became a thespian and busied myself with every drama or musical activity you can think of. Yet the sadness was always there hidden away behind my “acting mask”.  I will never forgot one very perceptive boy who wrote in my yearbook that, ” You smile a lot, but behind your eyes is a sadness that I hope goes away. Have a good summer!”. Yikes. I did not like the world to know this! I did so well to act like the happy little performer. I was a performer off stage as well as, on stage. When I went away to a community college, I had the idea to transfer to Columbia College downtown in the city to major in performing arts…naturally.

I had lots to be thankful for, I received a wonderful gift from my drama and music teacher after my mother passed away, to go away to a prestigious vocal music camp. I received the John Hires Scholarship (He was a drama teacher that passed during my senior year) award for my performance skills during high school. I also, received a $3,000 check by an older lady in my acting class at the community college to “help me with my dreams” since she has no other family. Yet, I still saw no God in my life and chose at the time to only see the hardships of losing a loving mother. When I look back I see many angels helping me along the way.

I went away to college and majored in vocal performance and theater. I kept myself busy between working as a make-up artist in a department store and acting in plays, as well as singing in shows. When I left college, I started my quest to become an actress in the big city. I worked for a trolley tour company and met a man there, that soon became my friend and later my first spiritual teacher. We started to talk more deeply because he saw me reading the first book on religion that I bought, called “the Case for Christ”. It was a historical book written by a skeptical lawyer who proved to himself and probably many others, that Jesus did exist. Read it, I highly recommend it.

This man that I met opened my eyes up to a world, I have never seen before. Telling me of his life experience with a real live demon “woman” who selfishly told him that she, “wanted his soul”. He always told me about being followed by men in black because he was writing about the ancient gnostic influence in today’s world and someone knew about it. He told me that his spiritual awakening happened when he realized he kept finding pennies on the ground, and there is this song called “pennies from heaven”, as well as seeing everyone in a room at a party interconnected with lines…very much like the Matrix movie. Now, I am a smart and perceptive girl by this time. This man was not crazy, he was completely sane and loved by everyone he met. Super talented and brilliant. He told me so much about what he knows about God. He explained that he discovered that ALL is God and much of this, is His version of self awareness. That is why God created everything to experience life. He turned the “key” in me, you can say by getting me to open up more spiritually. He promised that when all of THIS is over with, it’s going to be a beautiful surprise. I so wanted to believe in this beautiful surprise.

After this man left my life, I started reading and researching like crazy. I became a Buddhist, thinking that it fit my idea of existence more clearly. I went to Buddhist centers, and even picked up yoga and meditation. I also started to look more into quantum physics and look deeper in the questions, what is reality? I looked for God through aliens, and started to even learn about them. I started to learn about angels and demons, and with an active internet life I started to attract strange people on social forums. I remember meeting a person on a spiritual debating forum, that targeted me- mind you by this time, I was all about peace and love. He did the strangest thing, I have ever experienced that can only be explained as a demonic interaction or at the very least a man who was influenced by them. He literally started to tell me, “I am so smart, so intuitive, so good and kind, so polarized towards good, such a gentle soul, this and that..” and when I opened my heart to talking to him more because I thought he really understood me, he started to take away my energy. I am not kidding, this man started to say the scariest things you never hope to see on your screen. He started to tell me that I am, “bad and evil like him, and to come to the dark side, and enjoy the dark”. He proceeded to tell me that he was a demon and he was able to see through the screen and know my heart and my desires. I felt such a jolt of energy go into my body, and suck every positive energy I can think of. This man built my energies so high, to reach a point of peak energy level of love and then sucked it out. I get chills thinking of him. I immediately terminated all contact on that site and never spoke to anyone about it. My father warned me about going too deep into trying to find myself and had a long talk with me after he found a kundalini awakening book in my room. He told me not to mess with that because it opens you up to unknown energies. He said he tried to open his own and discovered a sting on the top of his spine with a terrible voice in his mind that said, “you think you aren’t afraid?” as he meditated. He says it was not a good experience and stopped him from ever looking into it further.

This brought me to my next experience that I had when I was on youtube one night, watching a video about the impending universe energy “wave” that was supposed to hit us. This is not a physical wave, supposedly it was the next ride into the next consciousness or dimension of space. This video scared me so much. It was about the reptilian race of aliens who were supposedly here long ago and use our energies for food till this day. Especially with my experience with this man, I called my father and cried. My father did not tell me I was crazy for anything I told him. Instead he spoke like a Jedi Knight, and said that THEY lived on another dimension at a lower consciousness, so I needed to vibrate higher in love and energy in order to not be touched by them. My jaw dropped. My life at that point was a big movie. Maybe an action blockbuster. I decided to look into that idea, are we really all actors upon a stage, as Shakespeare quoted?

This brought me further and further down the rabbit hole. I experimented with alternative perception tools. I studied astrology, crystals, chakras, learned more about aliens, meditated, did all of it to find answers. One time, I remember crying while doing yoga in a lot of emotional pain and in the back of my eyelids, I made out a shape. An alien shape with huge colorful aura- like wings surrounding it and it said in my head, “all will be well at zero point”. If you understand physics, this is the point of energy at its ground state…the place possibly where all Life can rush forward from. I felt they were loving and warm beings, and much brought me into the study of angelic beings that were aliens from another dimension of God. I felt very connected to them for a long time, but not so much preoccupied with them now, I would rather focus on my life as a human devoted to serve God. I was deep into the occult at the time too, even thought of myself interested in Wicca to learn how to be a white witch-that only does good spells for others.  Even though I was planning to do good for others, I still never realized that magic is the nature of taking away from someone else and using it for myself- it is going against someone’s free will. Because the physical universe will respond and it may take away something that may have randomly have happened to someone else instead. I started thinking “I AM God”, and having an experience as this young lady as others were having an experience as God, as well. I believed I was the universe. I was far from God still.

What brought me to the idea of an outside God that we are created from, was not only recognizing the real evil in the world, but having an experience of real good. Years later, I was at a bank cashing in a check. I lived carelessly and never balanced my checkbook. I was negative in my banking account, and it was Christmas week. I deposited my money into the ATM, and it said I had $0 balance. I needed that money. I was freaking out. I had one more gift to get my father and I also needed a train ticket to get home for the weekend. I cried. It was like all of the isolation I have felt all my life, came out to that poor teller. I was alone and denied any help to get to my only family. He simply said he could not give me any money, till it clears. I had $0 to get home to my family. The next thing I knew, a woman in a fur jacket bent down and gave me $300 cash from her wallet and said, “I have been there before”. Through blurry tears, she bent down and hugged me. Before I could ask her for an address, or number to call her-she was simply gone. No one can move that fast. The teller saw her, but could not remember what she looked like or recall anything! She disappeared and was as clear as a Monet painting in both our minds. She was an angel. I was saved by an angel. Funny, in a material world we need angels to help us out of this monetary system that man has created. I feel I have met others who came into my life briefly, who have guided my path towards God as well as keep me safe.

“For each one are successive [angels] before and behind him who protect him by the decree of Allah . Indeed, Allah will not change the condition of a people until they change what is in themselves.” (13:11)

That point began a journey into opening up religious texts and comparing books to each other. What I found was a similar message: God (in different names) created the earth. We were created out of love and wish for us to experience a beautiful life here. Satan or Iblis, in my religion, rebelled and chose not to serve humans, and was cast out of heaven. He decided to be a tempter of mankind until the Last Days, taking as many souls as he can with him. God agreed as a way to show that man is strong and will eventually choose to come back to Him, even with “sins” against them. Now we have angels who help us if our time on this earth is not finished, and demons who tempt us throughout. Of course, it varies in some religions, but the idea is the same. There are two opposing forces at work in the universe. We have free will to choose which side we would like to be on.

By seeing much of the evil in the world today, I have discovered a pattern in history that was talked about in the ancient texts of the Abraham God. Sometimes, you need to go through the darkness in order to discover the light. This was the case for me. There had been a group of men who chose to find their own “godhood”. It started with the Tower of Babel, and there has been a long line of elite occultists who believe they can erase sin and perfect themselves, to the point of becoming a deity on this earth and controlling others. That means no consequences to their actions as they act greedy, manipulate, and enslave others. There has always been a divide from the time Moses came down with the commandments, those that followed God and those that kept honoring their “golden calf”. I became deep into conspiracy theories and had seen the illuminati symbols everywhere. I see the occultists trying to push the New Age idea more that allows you to open yourselves up to a dimension unknown. I am aware of the secular science movement to push out God, of the “equation” completely. I see more unbelievers being born in a world where faith is hard to find. Of course the NWO seems fitting for the prophecies in these ancient books. I have studied other cultures and have learned of supreme beings like Vishnu, whose creations are constantly tempted by Rahu. The message has been the same, written in different colored hands through different messengers, throughout history.  I know I am not alone in seeing all this and continue to connect the dots, as many others do too. The more evil I observe in the world, the more my faith is affirmed from these ancient books, that warned of all of this.

I am aware that emotions, compassion and empathy are considered weak or “unintelligent” by those with more rational or logical minds. I believe that is all part of shutting out Jesus’s teachings to be a sensitive soul who cares about others as much as themselves-service to others. This was the plan all along of the “lesser”, but still opposing force of God, to turn us into him; service to self orientated. I accept Jesus into my heart that way as a teacher of men and take his teachings as the Truth.

I went back to college to gain my Masters in Education so that I could teach kids how to think and very much build empathy into an intelligent mind. I see a world, that has lost its empathy, part because it is hard to look at the suffering so easier to ignore it, and partly because humans have shut off that part of themselves for generations due to manipulations of their environment by others. I asked to be shown the way that He needs me to go and am fully ready to serve Him in anyway that I can.

I eventually met my Muslim partner by divine intervention one night after another breakup of mine. He patiently awaited till I found the Quran (that I bought years before), and read it in its entirety two years later. I read it straight through in two days over a weekend while sick in bed, and felt it correlated with my thoughts perfectly. I had tears of both joy and understanding. I was finally humbled seeing a source of reality outside of myself. At this point, I cried in happiness that I have found God and recognize the love that He always has shared with us unconditionally. Everything about science, life, death, God’s will, and humans fit into this book that expressed me as a “submitter to God” which is what Muslim means.  It is not the violent religion that others make it out to be, it only talks about self defense against others who are evil. The Quran alone reads as Islam is a religion of peace. Allah means “The God”, the singular form of God in Arabic, I personally feel more comfortable using the word “God” since, I only speak english. According to the Quran, all Christians, Jews, and others with a Supreme Creator, are from the same religion, but it has been divided into sects by man. I love that in the purest meaning of Islam, we can all be brothers and sisters under the same God. That is peace to me.

Religion is the different pathway you choose to get to God. There are many paths that believers can take that will lead them to Him, but you must be able to think for yourself and realize what is man made and what is God’s Will, within all religions. I truly believe all good souls will find their way back to God, if they are seeking.

“Surely those who believe, and those who are Jews, and the Christians, and the Sabians — whoever believes in God and the Last Day and does good, they shall have their reward from their Lord. And there will be no fear for them, nor shall they grieve” (2:62).

Now at this stage in my life, I love God so very much and have a strong connection. I believe I was inspired by Him and by my other friends while talking, to create a site like this to gather others together during these troubling times. I pray and I see the lifting of my head that He has done throughout my life as ways to strengthen my soul. I am excited for my future and no longer afraid of death. I look back and see all I went through as trials and lessons to learn, and to make me stronger in my faith. I asked for forgiveness and no longer do anything that God did not command us humans to do, in order to keep our souls pure and our bodies safe. I no longer suffer from deep depression or feelings of isolation. I have compassion for my dad and have worked on building a relationship with him. I know that one day, I will be reunited with my loving mother again and to lose her was a trial for me and a peaceful resolution for her. For the rest of my life, I will study the books given to man in the early stages from all religions to continue my learning. I appreciate them here for us to come back to, when we feel lost. I see this life as not a curse, but a beautiful temporary gift.

I don’t believe in a “punishing” God. Heaven and Hell to me, is simply a place designed for the ultimate evidence of “cause and effect”. My view of Heaven is this ethereal place, where all the good souls (humans that chose to be good on earth) can live together in harmony and union. Finally a place to rest our weary heads, from the ups and downs of this temporary world. Hell to me, is just a prison to separate those that never wanted to make an effort to see anything outside themselves-and hurt others by self indulging and making justifications for it, even after they die. It is a place that is furthest from God’s light due to their inability to discover it while living. Maybe, it is a place where the evil ones can seek forgiveness and become good souls or a place where the skeptics learn about the truth, to rejoin the others in Heaven? Only God knows. I look at the world today and hear of unthinkable evil in terms of murders and general destruction of one another and it makes me question much, but never God’s divine plan for all of us.

“He knows what is in the heavens and on earth; and
He knows what ye conceal and what ye reveal: yea,
Allah knows well the secrets of all hearts”(64:4).

Yes, my God is a very loving God, that wants all of his creations to choose to come find a way back to Him voluntarily while they still are given the gift of life and have a body to learn what their soul needs to.

         In the name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful…….

God is not a man to me in His entirety, He is the “We” of the entire multiverse. A consciousness so far from our understandings that only in death, will we be able to glimpse the beauty and wonder of. What we feel here on earth, is a tiny glimpse of this incredible force of love. We are not God, but we are a part of God. Just the act of creation of the universe shows love to me. God is movement towards Oneness, with a choice. There are many paths for seekers of God to take. If you wish to know our Creator, you will be shown the way best for YOU, that is unique to your journey. God is LOVE.

This other personal testimony affirms this belief:

This is my personal story and inner thoughts. My hope is that more people can start to see that these experiences of God are not limited to the “delusional” few as some skeptics believe, but instead offered to the ones who chose to remain open and humble. The ones that weren’t afraid to admit there is more to us than just us, and to think about more than just themselves in whatever faithful path that they choose- in doing that, we are doing God’s Will.

Salaam (peace) to all that read this and thank you for staying with my long story till the very end.  Join me in God’s army, that fights the evil with good deeds and good will towards one another. Keep the faith and may we all be spiritual companions in the gardens of heaven one day. Much love to you. I share this story not to convert you or take you from your path, but to get you to understand that all religions are from the same guidance.

“Allah will say: This is a day in which the truthful will profit from their truth. Theirs are gardens, with rivers flowing beneath – their eternal Home. Allah is well-pleased with them, and they with Allah. That is the great salvation” (5:119).

Surah Ali-Imran: Chapter 3 (line 50-60) The Family of Iram

50. “And verifying what lies before me of the Torah, and to make lawful for you some of what was forbidden to you. I have come to you with a sign from your Lord; so fear God, and obey me.”

51. “God is my Lord and your Lord, so worship Him. That is a straight path.”

52. When Jesus sensed disbelief on their part, he said, “Who are my allies towards God?” The disciples said, “We are God’s allies; we have believed in God, and bear witness that we submit.”

53. “Our Lord, we have believed in what You have revealed, and we have followed the Messenger, so count us among the witnesses.”

54. They planned, and God planned; but God is the Best of planners.

55. God said, “O Jesus, I am terminating your life, and raising you to Me, and clearing you of those who disbelieve. And I will make those who follow you superior to those who disbelieve, until the Day of Resurrection. Then to Me is your return; then I will judge between you regarding what you were disputing.

56. As for those who disbelieve, I will punish them with a severe punishment, in this world and the next, and they will have no helpers.

57. And as for those who believe and do good works, He will give them their rewards in full. God does not love the unjust.”

58. This is what We recite to you of the Verses and the Wise Reminder.

59. The likeness of Jesus in God’s sight is that of Adam: He created him from dust, then said to him, “Be,” and he was.

60. The truth is from your Lord, so do not be of those who doubt.

My Interpretation: 

Muhammad is being told about Jesus and what happened while he was here on earth. Jesus was given the Holy Spirit to do miracles and he was sent as a trail among men. Jesus taught his followers to worship one God. God knew that the Roman leaders and Pharisees were coming together in order to kill the man they viewed as disruptive to their lifestyle of wealth and power, so God planned to raise Jesus to Him before they could take his life.

Now this is where the difference between Christianity happens with Muslims. Some Muslim scholars think that Jesus did live a life, escaping from his death, but there is no evidence further in the Quran of this. All we know in this particular verse is that God raised Jesus to Himself, which means Jesus left this earth physically, but his soul remained untainted by death. I see this as a way of saying that when God decided Jesus was to be saved from the torment of these corrupt men, Jesus died a painless and peaceful death in response to being such a devout servant all his life.

There is such a vagueness in these verses about Jesus and as it says, the clue is in there as to why. It is for God to see how would each person interpret Jesus’s life and death. It is a test, that the Grand teacher is giving each of us. Will we believe Jesus in worship of ONE God? Will we follow Jesus’s teachings? What will we do with his death? These are all questions God asks you each.

The way I choose to see Jesus’s life is as an example to us, to show our highest potential as a human being. Adam was created, just as Jesus was. Only God can understand ultimately the why or how, and in the End Times Jesus will be used as a measure for each of our souls.

I choose to see unity between all religions in regards to this man in his teachings. If Christians want to say one thing, and Jews ultimately does not bother me. They are still my family under God and knowing the Quran, I see this regardless of the difference of opinions whether Jesus was a servant or God himself. I still function daily in life as a muslim, and this means I am to be kind, thoughtful, and unity driven towards my fellow beings.

As a muslim, I follow Jesus’s Way as John has said in the Bible. His Way of LIFE, that is. I will help those who need it, see beyond differences, and worship the one God who created us, knowing that one day I will be returned to Him with Jesus and all the other creations.

Ancient Persian muslim art of Jesus and Mary, showing the Holy Spirit inside radiating out of the Crown Chakra



Surah Al-Baqarah: Chapter 2 (line 260-270) The Cow

260. And when Abraham said, “My Lord, show me how You give life to the dead.” He said, “Have you not believed?” He said, “Yes, but to put my heart at ease.” He said, “Take four birds, and incline them to yourself, then place a part on each hill, then call to them; and they will come rushing to you. And know that God is Powerful and Wise.”

261. The parable of those who spend their wealth in God’s way is that of a grain that produces seven spikes; in each spike is a hundred grains. God multiplies for whom He wills. God is Bounteous and Knowing.

262. Those who spend their wealth in the way of God, and then do not follow up what they spent with reminders of their generosity or with insults, will have their reward with their Lord-they have nothing to fear, nor shall they grieve.

263. Kind words and forgiveness are better than charity followed by insults. God is Rich and Clement.

264. O you who believe! Do not nullify your charitable deeds with reminders and hurtful words, like him who spends his wealth to be seen by the people, and does not believe in God and the Last Day. His likeness is that of a smooth rock covered with soil: a downpour strikes it, and leaves it bare-they gain nothing from their efforts. God does not guide the disbelieving people.

265. And the parable of those who spend their wealth seeking God’s approval, and to strengthen their souls, is that of a garden on a hillside. If heavy rain falls on it, its produce is doubled; and if no heavy rain falls, then dew is enough. God is seeing of everything you do.

266. Would anyone of you like to have a garden of palms and vines, under which rivers flow-with all kinds of fruit in it for him, and old age has stricken him, and he has weak children-then a tornado with fire batters it, and it burns down? Thus God makes clear the signs for you, so that you may reflect.

267. O you who believe! Give of the good things you have earned, and from what We have produced for you from the earth. And do not pick the inferior things to give away, when you yourselves would not accept it except with eyes closed. And know that God is Sufficient and Praiseworthy.

268. Satan promises you poverty, and urges you to immorality; but God promises you forgiveness from Himself, and grace. God is Embracing and Knowing.

269. He gives wisdom to whomever He wills. Whoever is given wisdom has been given much good. But none pays heed except those with insight.

270. Whatever charity you give, or a pledge you fulfill, God knows it. The wrongdoers have no helpers.


My Interpretation:

Gabriel begins to explain the essence of charity and how when you do one good deed, it multiplies rewards and blessings. There is an analogy given to Muhammad to understand that planting the seed of a good deed will bring even more good karma or good blessings into harvest in your life. This does not mean that you will not be tried and have challenges, but that you will have more good in your life happen than bad, when you are constant with charity. It is important to not brag or gloat about your charity or make others feel bad. This is not being a good person on top of this good deed, and God knows all intentions you may have. In a way your insult or unkind deed could dilute the previous good deeds. So as a reminder stay focused on doing good and not just want to please God. It is about the lifestyle of being kind always, not just to get into Heaven.

This is one of the major arguments that disbelievers may have, and here it clearly says to do things with full effort and good intent, or they don’t count at all. It is best to give and not make a big production of it or expect anything in return. The joy of giving should become the gift.

The parable of the garden is to show how  good deeds can be nullified when you do bad deeds towards others show the true essence of your heart.

Muhammad is then warned that Satan throughout all humanity’s time on earth will tempt people with money, fame, and power, and in response cause a downfall that will lead to poverty of the soul. But the BEST reward is Heaven where all you can ever imagine that is given to you that in non material fulfillment, and this comes to those who have not hoarded, but shared to others. I believe this speaks greatly about our interconnection and how we have the power to make other people’s experiences more joyful even when the leaders do not. Even through oppression, a piece of bread, a drink of water, a kind gesture is enough to uplift a soul, and in the end yours too.

There is an idea that wisdom is connected to being divinely inspired. Information that helps someone live better with more understanding or awareness is a true gift to someone. This is opposite of the idea of Tree of Knowledge in Christianity. Here, Muhammad is told that wisdom is not something to be afraid to seek and those who gain it are those who have earned it. Wisdom gives you control over base human emotions and desires. You are then able to live in this world, but not be part of it and your soul belongs to Heaven. If you have wisdom, it has been revealed to you by God to understand the world.


Those who do not give or have wisdom, are part of the people who have lost their way. They do not seek a spiritual life, and they do not seek to do good. God sees all and there is no where in death, where they can run from their own reality of whom they have decided to become. The way of Wisdom is not through magic, or rituals. It is through being kind, giving, and then sharing what has been given to you.






Surah Al-Baqarah: Chapter 2 (line 180-190) The Cow

180. It is decreed for you: when death approaches one of you, and he leaves wealth, to make a testament in favor of the parents and the relatives, fairly and correctly-a duty upon the righteous.

181. But whoever changes it after he has heard it, the guilt is upon those who change it. God is All-Hearing, All-Knowing.

182. Should someone suspect bias or injustice on the part of a testator, and then reconciles between them, he commits no sin. God is Forgiving and Merciful.

183. O you who believe! Fasting is prescribed for you, as it was prescribed for those before you, that you may become righteous.

184. For a specified number of days. But whoever among you is sick, or on a journey, then a number of other days. For those who are able: a ransom of feeding a needy person. But whoever volunteers goodness, it is better for him. But to fast is best for you, if you only knew.

185. Ramadan is the month in which the Quran was revealed. Guidance for humanity, and clear portents of guidance, and the Criterion. Whoever of you witnesses the month, shall fast it. But whoever is sick, or on a journey, then a number of other days. God desires ease for you, and does not desire hardship for you, that you may complete the number, and celebrate God for having guided you, so that you may be thankful.

186. And when My servants ask you about Me, I Am near; I answer the call of the caller when he calls on Me. So let them answer Me, and have faith in Me, that they may be rightly guided.

187. Permitted for you is intercourse with your wives on the night of the fast. They are a garment for you, and you are a garment for them. God knows that you used to betray yourselves, but He turned to you and pardoned you. So approach them now, and seek what God has ordained for you, and eat and drink until the white streak of dawn can be distinguished from the black streak. Then complete the fast until nightfall. But do not approach them while you are in retreat at the mosques. These are the limits of God, so do not come near them. God thus clarifies His revelations to the people, that they may attain piety.

188. And do not consume one another’s wealth by unjust means, nor offer it as bribes to the officials in order to consume part of other people’s wealth illicitly, while you know.

189. They ask you about the crescents. Say, “They are timetables for people, and for the Hajj.” It is not virtuous that you approach homes from their backs, but virtue is to be pious. So approach homes from their doors, and observe God, that you may succeed.

190. And fight in the cause of God those who fight you, but do not commit aggression; God does not love the aggressors.

My Interpretation:

Here is a set of rules or guidelines Gabriel is giving Muhammad to help bring civilization back on track. We see in this a few things that have possibly been a problem in other societies, as in Mecca. The written will is something to be treated seriously and to not lie about. The image I get is that after people died, much like today, the leaders confiscated their land and wealth leaving nothing behind to the family. So the testified will was brought forwards for the arabs of Arabia so that wealth is passed down justly.

Fasting is prescribed to the people and possibly for a few reasons:

 1. Scientifically- medical science studies have shown the benefits to fast every once in a while to reboot your system and speed of metabolism. 

2. Spiritually- it can give meaning to the gift of food we are given from God, and a means to learn appreciation. 

3. Socially- to help feed a whole village and share in the food that is grown or farmed with each other or learn what fellow mankind who are starving experience and to build empathy. 

As someone who fasts, I can tell you that the benefits are real. Many other religions and spiritual teachers did it as well. Buddha was known to have fasted for 40 days under the Bodhi tree in order to reach his point of enlightenment and understanding of things. Fasting has been done by Jesus, Moses, and possibly all messengers of God to reach that state of elevated understanding.

Notice that fasting is not a rigid concept, but a healthy teaching to humans at this point. If you miss your fasting days during the Ramadan then it is required to give to charity so that some form of personal sacrifice is made and felt in the spirit of altruism. But NOTHING should be a hardship and know that God is Merciful, knowing your heart and your intentions to do good.

Sex is allowed by God now, ever since the “fall” from the Garden, but it is ordained to be pious about it. A woman and a man have their freedom to enjoy sexual relations anytime, except for during observations at the mosques, which is really using common sense. Be private and enjoy each other, but have balance will all things. You may have sex on fasting nights, and then continue the fasting the next day.

The time of fasting is different according to where you live in the world, but generally it is from dawn of the first light of day to first break of night. Refer to Islam fasting time calculators to see what the times are in your area of the world. I will say, it is not so important to be exactly on the dot with this, as remember God does not wish to give hardship. Muslims should refrain from stressing so much for this. Do what feels natural during this time, and with your best effort.

Once again Muhammad is reminded that taking any properties, belongings, of each other that do not belong to each other is something that God reflects upon.

The moon has been something that has been worshiped as a deity by pagan tradition, so this is where Gabriel tells Muhammad to let the people know the moon is for to keep time through its phases only, not to worship as a god. The idea of back doors is something I can imagine being a problem in the past. Possibly people would go through each other’s homes and steal things as they saw fit. So asking people to go through a front door is two things, 1. more polite and adds to neighborly consideration. 2. a safety feature to make sure your house can not be entered without you present.

There is an esoteric way I can see this warning as, the idea of worshiping moon or sun gods, is the “back door” of worshiping God. It is not going about it in the right or direct way. Showing appreciation to the moon is not showing appreciation for all things in life since the moon or sun can be responsible for the whole universe.

And lastly is the most misunderstood line of all-this is speaking about the self defense of their own homes and people. As it says God does not like aggression or aggressors, and anyone using their common sense can understand the difference between direct self defense and aggressive war or murder. 

I also tell people today that terrorism is NOT something that Islam prescribes ever and they would be called “transggressors” for coming onto U.S soil and attacking. I do not feel in my heart these men were muslims in the very definition of the word, along with millions of other muslims today who are constantly speaking out. 

Terrorism is not part of any faith and would be more following the path of Satan to spread chaos and destruction, rather than God’s Will to spread peace.


Surah Al-Baqarah: Chapter 2 (line 160-170) The Cow

160. Except those who repent, and reform, and proclaim. Those-I will accept their repentance. I am the Acceptor of Repentance, the Merciful.

161. But as for those who reject faith, and die rejecting-those-upon them is the curse of God, and of the angels, and of all humanity.

162. They will remain under it forever, and the torment will not be lightened for them, and they will not be reprieved.

163. Your God is one God. There is no god but He, the Benevolent, the Compassionate.

164. In the creation of the heavens and the earth; in the alternation of night and day; in the ships that sail the oceans for the benefit of mankind; in the water that God sends down from the sky, and revives the earth with it after it had died, and scatters in it all kinds of creatures; in the changing of the winds, and the clouds disposed between the sky and the earth; are signs for people who understand.

165. Yet among the people are those who take other than God as equals to Him. They love them as the love of God. But those who believe have greater love for God. If only the wrongdoers would realize, when they see the torment; that all power is God’s, and that God is severe in punishment.

166. Those who were followed will then disown those who followed them, and they will see the retribution, and ties between them will be severed.

167. Those who followed will say, “If only we can have another chance, we will disown them, as they disowned us.” Thus God will show them their deeds, as regrets to them, and they will not come out of the Fire.

168. O people! Eat of what is lawful and good on earth, and do not follow the footsteps of Satan. He is to you an open enemy.

169. He commands you to do evil and vice, and to say about God what you do not know.

170. And when it is said to them, “Follow what God has revealed,” they say, “We will follow what we found our ancestors following.” Even if their ancestors understood nothing, and were not guided?

My Interpretation:

The inspiring speech that Muhammad must courageously say to the Mecca leaders is still being given to Muhammad. At this point he is being told to let the leaders know that it is never too late to repent and change ways. They can simply submit to the laws of God to monotheism and there will never need to be wars.

Gabriel gives Muhammad the aspects of nature of God to show that the nature deities they may worship, is already a part of “Allah”, which is the Arabic name for the “One God”. So when you pray to Allah, you are indeed praying to the Creator of everything and no need to divide Him into aspects of His Self.

In one way, I believe this is the biggest crime of Paganism- to divide the ego into more pieces away from the whole of God. In Hinduism, many Hindus can worship one God as they see aspects of this one God in deity in form. There is a difference to worshipping many little gods, to honoring and devoting time to ONE.

This is why Muhammad is considered a prophet and a messenger, he was given the messages by an angel to give to the people, but he was also given insight into the future that other messengers where perhaps not given. Here he starts to see Hell as a place of separation these leaders will experience if they deny God’s Will on earth for monotheism.

It is described once again as a painful torment for them, and this pain will be experienced on a spiritual level.

There is a warning to not indulge in earthly pleasures and eat of things given and made good for them. As you know, the God of Abraham does not prescribe pig of any sorts, and possibly because it is not made good for human consumption as we learn so often in news stories. They are scavengers that roll in their own feces and mud. They are found to eat their own kind, and even the occasional farmer fallen into a pig pen (see news stories), and they are extremely dirty animals. Far more dirtier than grass grazing cows, sheep, or goat. God forbids the consumption of scavengers and carrion eaters, which devour other animals for their food. Eating their meat can cause disease in humans.

There is also the idea of committing one of the seven sins by self indulgence in what the earth provides-Gluttony. For me this is not about oppression of God, but healthy suggestion to not over indulge in food and drink. It’s about healthy balance.

And there is a warning that many should heed today: Just because your parents or grandparent practice one thing, does not make it right. You must always seek for the truth yourself. Remember Abraham’s father almost had him stoned for claiming monotheism. So do not follow your parent’s pathway of spirituality…always find your own.

walk alone

Surah Al-Baqarah: Chapter 2 (line 150-160) The Cow

150. And wherever you come from, turn your face towards the Sacred Mosque. And wherever you may be, turn your faces towards it. So that the people may not have any argument against you-except those who do wrong among them. So do not fear them, but fear Me, that I may complete My blessings upon you, and that you may be guided.

151. Just as We sent to you a messenger from among you, who recites Our revelations to you, and purifies you, and teaches you the Book and wisdom, and teaches you what you did not know.

152. So remember Me, and I will remember you. And thank Me, and do not be ungrateful.

153. O you who believe! Seek help through patience and prayers. God is with the steadfast.

154. And do not say of those who are killed in the cause of God, “Dead.” Rather, they are alive, but you do not perceive.

155. We will certainly test you with some fear and hunger, and some loss of possessions and lives and crops. But give good news to the steadfast.

156. Those who, when a calamity afflicts them, say, “To God we belong, and to Him we will return.”

157. Upon these are blessings and mercy from their Lord. These are the guided ones.

158. Safa and Marwa are among the rites of God. Whoever makes the Pilgrimage to the House, or performs the Umrah, commits no error by circulating between them. Whoever volunteers good-God is Appreciative and Cognizant.

159. Those who suppress the proofs and the guidance We have revealed, after We have clarified them to humanity in the Scripture-those-God curses them, and the cursers curse them.

160. Except those who repent, and reform, and proclaim. Those-I will accept their repentance. I am the Acceptor of Repentance, the Merciful.

My Interpretation:

This is Gabriel saying to Muhammad these are the words he must speak for God to the people as the next chosen prophet in this historical time. He must remind the people that they are and will be slaughtered and oppressed by those in Mecca who hate to see their pagan religion system crumbling. But he gives them glad tidings, that there is no such thing as “death” for these brave souls who are killed by others. They are very much alive in the spiritual world that we can not see.

These lines read as an inspiring speech to start a revolution and to know that God is with them. The brave choices they make as righteous believers will not go unseen by God. All good acts are recorded and reflected upon.

There is also a curse put upon those who become the mortal enemies of God and the messengers, and their punishment for not listening to Muhammad, will not be light in the hereafter.

I see Hell as a state of being or conscious state you can end up in after death, if in life you denied Heaven and God. After all-we are the co-creators of our realities, and this extends to the afterlife as well.

Surah Al-Baqarah: Chapter 2 (line 140-150) The Cow

140. Or do you say that Abraham, Ishmael, Isaac, Jacob, and the Patriarchs were Jews or Christians? Say, “Do you know better, or God?” And who does greater wrong than he who conceals a testimony he has from God? God is not unaware of what you do.

141. That was a community that has passed. To them is what they have earned, and to you is what you have earned. And you will not be questioned about what they used to do.

142. The ignorant among the people will say, “What has turned them away from the direction of prayer they once followed?” Say, “To God belong the East and the West. He guides whom He wills to a straight path.”

143. Thus We made you a moderate community, that you may be witnesses to humanity, and that the Messenger may be a witness to you. We only established the direction of prayer, which you once followed, that We may distinguish those who follow the Messenger from those who turn on their heels. It is indeed difficult, except for those whom God has guided. But God would never let your faith go to waste. God is Kind towards the people, Merciful.

144. We have seen your face turned towards the heaven. So We will turn you towards a direction that will satisfy you. So turn your face towards the Sacred Mosque. And wherever you may be, turn your faces towards it. Those who were given the Book know that it is the Truth from their Lord; and God is not unaware of what they do.

145. Even if you were to bring to those who were given the Book every proof, they would not follow your direction, nor are you to follow their direction, nor do they follow the direction of one another. And if you were to follow their desires, after the knowledge that has come to you, you would be in that case one of the wrongdoers.

146. Those to whom We have given the Book recognize it as they recognize their own children. But some of them conceal the truth while they know.

147. The truth is from your Lord, so do not be a skeptic.

148. To every community is a direction towards which it turns. Therefore, race towards goodness. Wherever you may be, God will bring you all together. God is capable of everything.

149. And wherever you come from, turn your face towards the Sacred Mosque. This is the truth from your Lord, and God is not heedless of what you do.

150. And wherever you come from, turn your face towards the Sacred Mosque. And wherever you may be, turn your faces towards it. So that the people may not have any argument against you-except those who do wrong among them. So do not fear them, but fear Me, that I may complete My blessings upon you, and that you may be guided.

My Interpretation:

Here is ultimate proof that Muhammad did not write this Quran. Because of the perspective it takes. Gabriel is telling Muhammad that only he is responsible for his self and his acts, and what the other prophets have done will not be part of his earnings. When people read this Quran they need to see that this is a glimpse into what Muhammad was told…it’s as if we are seeing a recoding of some sort. It shows moments in time and is written in a way that isn’t humanly possible. It is extremely hard to write in the perspective of telling yourself something that you will need to then tell to others.

Gabriel seems to be able to show Muhammad glimpses or visions of times in which certain individuals challenged the prophets of old. Perhaps at this point Gabriel is reading from the Book of Life where all thoughts and words are imprinted and can be referenced to again. Some spiritualists call this the “akashic  records” that is a sanskrit name that means “sky” that reference to another dimension where all records of time and events are held. Certain points in the Quran, I see this happening as if in the cave Muhammad is taken through time to show what has happened exactly in the past in order to prevent it in the future.

So here it is revealed to Muhammad that when the Gospel was written by chosen disciples of Jesus, like John, the Jewish elders or pharisees doubted it as the word of God. And there is a warning that as Muhammad turns his followers to pray towards the Kabbah under ONE God, then the pagans will ask what is going on as they see the pagan rituals rejected.

What I love about this is the idea that the angel then says, the West and the East, ALL directions belong to God. So it does not matter what land they lay claim on. God of Abraham is over all things. This is proof too, that the Quran was meant for all of mankind across every direction.

There is a great idea of community established here in these verses, one of all righteous people will be coming together, brought together by God through His Will for goodness to spread.


Surah Al-Baqarah: Chapter 2 (line 130-140) The Cow

130. Who would forsake the religion of Abraham, except he who fools himself? We chose him in this world, and in the Hereafter he will be among the righteous.

131. When his Lord said to him, “Submit!” He said, “I have submitted to the Lord of the Worlds.”

132. And Abraham exhorted his sons, and Jacob, “O my sons, God has chosen this religion for you, so do not die unless you have submitted.”

133. Or were you witnesses when death approached Jacob, and he said to his sons, “What will you worship after Me?” They said, “We will worship your God, and the God of your fathers, Abraham, Ishmael, and Isaac; One God; and to Him we submit.”

134. That was a community that has passed; for them is what they have earned, and for you is what you have earned; and you will not be questioned about what they used to do.

135. And they say, “Be Jews or Christians, and you will be guided.” Say, “Rather, the religion of Abraham, the Monotheist; he was not an idolater.”

136. Say, “We believe in God; and in what was revealed to us; and in what was revealed to Abraham, and Ishmael, and Isaac, and Jacob, and the Patriarchs; and in what was given to Moses and Jesus; and in what was given to the prophets-from their Lord. We make no distinction between any of them, and to Him we surrender.”

137. If they believe in the same as you have believed in, then they have been guided. But if they turn away, then they are in schism. God will protect you against them; for He is the Hearer, the Knower.

138. God’s coloring. And who gives better coloring than God? “And we are devoted to Him.”

139. Say, “Do you argue with us about God, when He is our Lord and your Lord, and We have our works, and you have your works, and we are sincere to Him?”

140. Or do you say that Abraham, Ishmael, Isaac, Jacob, and the Patriarchs were Jews or Christians? Say, “Do you know better, or God?” And who does greater wrong than he who conceals a testimony he has from God? God is not unaware of what you do.

My Interpretation:

Now we are getting deeper into the past, and showing how Islam is a call to revert back to the original religion of Abraham. Also as you can see, God includes Isaac and Ishmael as the righteous descendants of Abraham…so there you go. Jews and Muslims can end the debate forever. The brothers were equal in righteousness and considered as part of the bloodline of righteous believers.

Here Gabriel is saying Jews and Christians claim that the original religion is theirs. However historically, Abraham did not claim a name for the religion and instead it was a way of life of good deeds and monotheistic devotion. Islam is a way of life, and never was supposed to be a rigid religion and here we see this clearly.

spiritual truth

Surah Al-Baqarah: Chapter 2 (line 120-130) The Cow

120. The Jews and the Christians will not approve of you, unless you follow their creed. Say, “God’s guidance is the guidance.” Should you follow their desires, after the knowledge that has come to you, you will have in God neither guardian nor helper.

121. Those to whom We have given the Scripture follow it, as it ought to be followed-these believe in it. But as for those who reject it-these are the losers.

122. O Children of Israel! Remember My blessing which I bestowed upon you, and that I have favored you over all people.

123. And beware of a Day when no soul will avail another soul in any way, and no ransom will be accepted from it, and no intercession will benefit it, and they will not be helped.

124. And when his Lord tested Abraham with certain words, and he fulfilled them. He said, “I am making you a leader of humanity.” He said, “And my descendants?” He said, “My pledge does not include the wrongdoers.”

125. And We made the House a focal point for the people, and a sanctuary. Use the shrine of Abraham as a place of prayer. And We commissioned Abraham and Ishmael, “Sanctify My House for those who circle around it, and those who seclude themselves in it, and those who kneel and prostrate.”

126. When Abraham said, “O My Lord, make this a peaceful land, and provide its people with fruits-whoever of them believes in God and the Last Day.” He said, “And whoever disbelieves, I will give him a little enjoyment, then I will consign him to the punishment of the Fire; how miserable the destiny!”

127. As Abraham raises the foundations of the House, together with Ishmael, “Our Lord, accept it from us, You are the Hearer, the Knower.

128. Our Lord, and make us submissive to You, and from our descendants a community submissive to You. And show us our rites, and accept our repentance. You are the Acceptor of Repentance, the Merciful.

129. Our Lord, and raise up among them a messenger, of themselves, who will recite to them Your revelations, and teach them the Book and wisdom, and purify them. You are the Almighty, the Wise.”

130. Who would forsake the religion of Abraham, except he who fools himself? We chose him in this world, and in the Hereafter he will be among the righteous.

My Interpretation:

Muhammad is being shown the truth of how Abraham had once done the same to speak up against the pagan idolatry of his people. He was tested with a trail that he passed that I will speak about later in the verses. And was considered God’s messenger to tell all the people that they needed to stop the pagan worship of their gods and goddesses that demanded blood and sacrifices.

Gabriel is saying that the Kabbah that was the place of worship of these gods was actually the shrine that Abraham converted his people to monotheism. The story is he smashed 300 idols of gods and goddesses inside the Kabbah. So today the Kabbah is not a thing to be worshipped, but a place of reflection for all the muslims had to endure in order to bring Islam to the land.

Gabriel also is giving Muhammad a prayer to say when the people are together by the Mecca in brotherhood and sisterhood.

Abraham becomes a great leader of his people with his son Ishmael. There is a point that Abraham says to God that he hopes his whole family can join him in this, and God replies saying that it is up to them whether they become one of the righteous. So clearly God does not say “No”, which is the constant conflict Jews and Muslims have together. Jews say it was Isaac who became the righteous leader with Abraham. Isaac was another son, and I will say in my heart I will not say whether Isaac was righteous or not, as God said…”My pledge does not include the wrongdoers.” So was Isaac not as morally upright as Ishmael? Or did God just leave it up to be discovered later? These are questions that continue to haunt the Jews and Muslims, but here I show it is not direct whether Isaac was not a righteous believer of God or not.

Paganism still exists today where many gods and goddesses are still worshipped. What I have come to see is this separates people into sects of each different god. We see it it history and the greeks even went to war over their gods. I also have come to see ALLAH means ONE, and so if you divide this ONE, you risk uniting what was always meant to be brought together again after the Tower of Babel event, where God made us all speak different languages so we could not build the Babylon tower of Nimrod.

To me, there is peaceful paganism which effects no one, but there is an ugly side to paganism that causes nothing but war, competition, and excess blood rituals and worships that evoke sprits and energies unseen. The Ancient Egyptians were great pagans, and their kingdoms were influenced by power and spiritual quest at the suffering of others to build it. The Ancient Greeks also were pagans that committed great sins for their gods killing Christians in Rome, when the Christians believed in one God, Jesus taught about.

So do you see? Paganism has also caused war and destruction as well. 

When God is ONE, it becomes more clear and less manipulation can be had. It’s as if God wanted us all to realize we came from the same source by honoring the one source, we can come together as one in love and unity.
One God + One Book=One Love and Understanding