Surah Al-Hijr (The Rock): Chapter 15 (line 50-60)

50. And that My punishment is the painful punishment.

51. And inform them of the guests of Abraham.

52. When they entered upon him, and said, “Peace.” He said, “We are wary of you.”

53. They said, “Do not fear; we bring you good news of a boy endowed with knowledge.”

54. He said, “Do you bring me good news, when old age has overtaken me? What good news do you bring?”

55. They said, “We bring you good news in truth, so do not despair.”

56. He said, “And who despairs of his Lord’s mercy but the lost?”

57. He said, “So what is your business, O envoys?”

58. They said, “We were sent to a sinful people.”

59. “Except for the family of Lot; we will save them all.”

60. “Except for his wife.” We have determined that she will be of those who lag behind.

My Interpretation: 

This is the glimpse of the beginning of creation when Allah is telling Muhammad, through Gabriel about what happened in the beginning. Here at line 51, Muhammad is being told to tell his people of the Arab nation to know the story of Lot and how Angels were sent down to tell Abraham that he would have a son, even in the old age of his and his wife.

Abraham had a difficult  time believing them, and asked the Angels what they were doing here on earth. The Angels of God tell Abraham that they were sent to destroy a civilization that have destroyed themselves because of their sinful nature. They plan on saving the family of Lot, except for his wife…who took part in the sinning and needed some form of retribution for her own actions.

The Angels are divine carriers and messengers of the truth and balance in the universe. They are here to help guide humanity, and help life grow and evolve with purity and fullest potential.

I do not fault them for destroying a whole nation of sinful people that allowed themselves to digress so much from the Good path. I understand how creation works in the universe and the flow of life and death, destruction and life. When one door closes, another one opens.

The cities of Sodom and Gomorrah were destroyed so that future civilizations could exist and rise from the ashes.

My Daily Life As an Awakened Person

I wanted to write about what it means to be able to have faith, and see the esoteric meanings in the holy books. I would like to give you a glimpse into my daily life and how it actually FEELS being me as a Muslim, knowing what I know about the Quran and humanity.

My day starts out like any other human, I am groggy from the sleep and often ponder why do I have to go to work that day. I do my morning prayers and get down on my knees in a form of meditation and bowing to a Higher Power outside my self. Since the Quran is never specific on what to pray except for the first Surah, I just talk to God and tell Him my plans to help others see the Light of God more. Sometimes, I do get tearful because of so much ignorance in the world of His immense beauty and mercy. Often times, I am tearful because I am grateful for the blessings given to me.

What happens next is the starting of my day. Sometimes, I put on Unsolved Mysteries and other times Dr.Phill is in the background. Depends on my mood. I often enjoy hearing about the unsolved mysteries of the world, knowing deep down ALL the truth will come out and this show often times shows people that this material world is not so black and white all the time. I like mysteries and I also like to try to solve them in my mind, which is why I became a spiritual seeker in the first place.

I enjoy Dr. Phill ,because he is a “no nonsense” type of guy that truly tells people the way it is. I enjoy his immense ability to perceive things they way they are-he is very perceptive and he is able to get people to see things in a brand new light.

Next, I go out the door, with ear phones on listening to music while I walk to the train. The music I enjoy is either really spacey new age, calming spa music, or a gentle indie station with meaningful lyrics to ponder. As I walk through the streets, I always glance at the sun in the sky and the bright beautiful open space above me with a knowing little “nod” to the angels and God. Not that I see God sitting on a cloud, but I see God in a higher realm that can only be reached through higher consciousness of thought. And that sun was created as a lamp to warm the little creations on this planet. I feel the immense love for life from God and the angels who work to guide humans, as their younger brothers and sisters.

As I give my little tearful grateful smile at the sky, I rush along the streets looking at people around me. I like to notice where they are in life. I also unconsciously look for people in need of something-maybe they can’t get down the stairs. Maybe they are having problems opening the door or using the ticket purchase station. Wherever there is need, my eyes see them. I will go to someone if they need help and lend a hand letting them know, someone cares…I am there for them. It just feels like this is what makes life worth living.

I glance around on the train around me, looking for that shining light of God. Sometimes I see it when a person offers a chair to an elderly, and sometimes I don’t, when people are pushing each other to get into the train, I then see only their ego coming through. I just like to observe and see where people are in their different levels of consciousness. I do not judge them as evil, only as ignorant to the truth I have discovered that we are all one unit.

Next, I usually walk to work from the train. Here my steps get more confident in seeing glimmers of God everywhere or the opposite of God which is greediness, selfishness, etc. But by then, because my focus has been on the Godly things people have done for each other, the ungodly things do not phase me. I will be that person who stands up to others if they get too rude, loud, or in general are disturbing others. I tend to see it as a reminder as I scold, as in they should know better-the conscious part of them does.

On my way through the streets to my work, I occasionally smile to strangers or will gaze around me at the beautiful creation that God created for us. Even in its ugliest forms, there is still beauty and I see it. In a city with graffiti everywhere, it just shows me the sometimes “randomness and rebelliousness” of human nature. God is funny like that, we can stretch as far as we want away from the Source or God, but as soon as we get too far away, God pulls us back somehow with reminding us with laws and penalties we may experience in the world.

When I arrive at work, the reality sets in. I am here now to do a duty, and although we are all creations of God, I must now play a role as a teacher or guide to children and my staff. So I do. And I take my job seriously. I don’t let a single “hit or kick” go un-reprimanded on the playground. I am constantly spending my day teaching kids social behaviors that will help them keep the peace and make less enemies in life by their actions…as well as trying to show them that humanity needs them to choose to be good for the sake of being our next generation in charge.

As I watch all the young souls running around, I am reminded of how earth is much like a school and we all have our different journeys to go on, but we are at different levels of consciousness all the time. Allah/God in the Quran constantly asks, “Will they not ponder the words?” as in a way to get us to think first than react always emotionally from ego. Children react, and yes although they are sweet and innocent of many evils since their egos aren’t fully developed, they also are babies in their understandings of unity. They do not know that Suzy is just another spiritual creation of Tommy, and in order to make their experiences more fun, they shouldn’t hit one another when trying to get what they want.

My day goes in and out of consciousness levels, talking to adults and children. I connect to those during the day that are kind, and don’t take out their issues on others. If I am in a “mood”, I warn my staff to beware….I am in a lower state of mind that day. But these lower states of mind do not last long and actually with a simple thought or asking God for strength to get through the day, I am fine again and smiling.

They used to last for weeks, and it’s called depression. I used to feel so alone, like nobody cared, and when I finally realized that nobody will care unless I cared for them…that’s when things changed. I also discovered a loving force behind the universe as I learned about life on other planets and the millions of galaxies astronomers are discovering. I stopped being the victim and I took actions. I became a servant of good for God instead of sitting there and wasting this experience.

My days are filled with great joy in my understanding and I can make my perspective grow larger at crucial times and look outside of myself at others. I no longer take things so personally or think that people are mean or bad. Something happened to them, and I see it in children as well. When a child hits another or does something mean, it is because they are not feeling right inside. Something is bothering them, and I do my best to find out what it is to help them and clear that dark shadow away from their mind. Something caused this ignorance and as a teacher, I am here to educate them on what they missed.

When I go home at night, I think to myself how exhausted I am through my day and how I wish I could just rest forever. I often times will see me happily enter in the warm white light of heavenly bliss with all other good souls on earth, but I know I have a few things to do first. I am happy and grateful for the day and the lessons and joys I experienced. So by the time, I go home, I am ready to really unwind and experience love with my fiancé, that I have not gotten from strangers all day. Yes, he recharges my battery you can say and reflects back all the love that I gave out to others. He is my twin flame.

At night, before bed, I say a prayer again to thank the Lord for all the amazing blessings I have and to help me awaken others to be able to have them as well. It is not the most psychically exciting life right now at this moment (I don’t have kids yet ;)), but it is a rich spiritually one and really not much phases me..I am finally at peace when at one time I was not.

Ignorance of our unity and God’s goodness, is what makes a person evil. God does not create evil people…only gives them the free will to choose to have the knowledge that they need in order to become good.

And that knowledge is: Unity




The Movie Risen: Jesus’s Precious Gift of Joy

One thing that I noticed about this particular movie was the absolute JOY that the disciples shared knowing Jesus. It was actually quite fun watching them smile, hit each other friendly over the back in brotherhood, and generally be all “giggly” together. I found myself sitting there with a smile on my face.

It got me thinking as I sat there, I too feel these moments of pure spiritual highs and joys, and it really is the best feeling in the world, quite possibly universe. How fun it is to be able to feel so happy that even in threatening of their death, the disciples laughed with delight knowing what they knew.

They were no longer scared or feared death. They were in a pure state of joy to know that everything in the end is beautiful for those that believed in Jesus’s message.  Just as the Buddha taught about detachment of this material world, these disciples reached it and you could tell in their happy smiles. This gift is passed down to us now, as we think about the coldness and cruelty of the world, we know in our hearts that somewhere lies a place of pure joy and bliss for those that search deep enough to find it.

Mary Magdalene left smiling to herself.


How God Can Help You Worry Less

I have a huge confession to make. I am a worrywart. I am not sure if it is nurture or nature with this, but at times I can be worrisome, almost fearful about situations, when I am not aligned with God. I understand now why when I read the Quran do I feel an uplifting of my spirit. Because in many ways, the verses tell me to not worry so much and as they say, “let go and let God”.

To a person who is always concerned and a bit worried about things in life, this is the greatest gift I could receive from our  Creator. A few examples of this can be found in these verses towards the end of the Quran when it starts to talk about the end of the known physical universe when God calls all mankind and jinn together to show them each what they have done.

But the soothing of the soul happens through out the reading of the Quran, much like it would do for those who read the Bible. The Quran chastises those who do something wrong, but then switches back to tell the rewards of those who do the right thing.

I am always reminded while reading the Quran that as long as my heart is pure and my intentions are good, no harm can come to me-ultimately. Yes, accidents happen and this can cause me to worry, but in the end I reminded that God SEES all and takes care of all affairs from the macrocosm to the very microcosm.

As it says in one of the verses about this:


Indeed, Allah does not do injustice, [even] as much as an atom‘s weight; while if there is a good deed, He multiplies it and gives from Himself a great reward.

So really why ever worry? If my faith is strong, then in the end I should know that everything will always be alright.





Bernie Madoff: You Can Cheat People, But You Can’t Cheat God.

I just finished watching the excellent 4 part movie, “Madoff”, about the Bernie Madoff Scandal Ponzi Scheme. If you don’t know much about it, please watch the movie or read about it. It is mind boggling how this one man of an investment firm could steal 50 billion dollars for years and not get caught until the market crash of 2008. Thousands of people and organizations from around the world had invested with him, from Hollywood bigwig Steven Spielberg to Holocaust survivor Elie Wiesel’s foundation. Many innocent people lost their entire life’s savings to Bernie’s greed.

But what struck me as odd was the uncanny similarities between Bernie’s life story and the Pharaoh Rameses of the Exodus. Moses warned Rameses of the impeding death that would curse the sons of every family tied to the Ancient Egyptians, and have them die at an early age. Bernie’s theft of other people’s money over the years seemed to curse his own sons and any one part of his whole family.

During the time of the scandal, Bernie’s younger brother Peter, who worked at the firm as the Chief Compliance Officer lost his son young Roger, to leukemia. After Bernie Madoff got arrested his son, Mark Madoff committed suicide by hanging himself in his New York apartment. Lastly, it was Andrew Madoff who came down with a cancer called, lymphoma and died as the only remaining male son in 2014. The Bernie Madoff family’s direct roots have dwindled down to only a daughter of Peter Madoff (in jail for 10 years now), Shana.

People die of cancer all the time, and we can not say God took them away for spite or anger. But when something happens to cause an entire male side of the Bernie Madoff family to disappear while he is in jail, you may be able to see the similarities between the death to the Ancient Egyptian’s sons. God produces life where He sees fit, but He is known to wash an entire civilization or nation away in the past. It is a tragic thing to see Bernie Madoff’s actions caused such a destruction to his own sons.

Truly a sad story to show the effects of one man’s immense greed. You can cheat people, but eventually God catches up to you and you can’t cheat Him.

Scene from the new movie, Exodus: God and Kings

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My Spiritual Jihad: Getting Engaged.

You wouldn’t think it, but my engagement to my boyfriend last night, is my “jihad”. That word gets thrown a lot around by the media, but what does it really mean and why is it a battle to me?

Take a look at this link to learn what the Islamic Supreme Council says a “jihad” is:

This is a huge inner spiritual struggle for me getting engaged. I don’t take love lightly, and although I have never known hate or wrath without enemies of war trying to kill me…I have known loss of love, and my own isolation from people. I was trapped in my own state of “hell” for a few years, until a man came into my life when I was determined to try to evolve my soul. Before him, the inner demons whispered to me, that it would be best to be alone…and to remain in the darkness without love.

I took a step 4 years ago to let someone in, and he didn’t leave me as a friend and more. Now I am on the ultimate lesson to learn how to love fully as a fiancee and eventually wife, and be able to move past the fear of death and loss-again.

When you experience great loss, you are aware of it. It makes you wise and weathered with experience, but it also makes you have a pain that will not heal and a great fear. So like any servant of God, I must pick up the pain and suffering as a test to my soul and move forwards into new light.

God Wills it. It’s part of how we evolve as a species. We meet another and move forwards creating the next humans….so here we go…to fight my inner demons and darkness that threatens to put me in a state of inaction and fear.

This is my battle and I am ready. This is my jihad that I must alone face.

I share this with all of you in hopes it gives you strength in fighting your inner demons too.


A New Year. A New World. Let’s Awake.

This New Year Resolution list isn’t JUST for myself cause really I have been on a path of transformation that is moving forward without the stroke of midnight tomorrow.  I will keep working at my own flaws, I am constantly reinventing myself and trying to improve myself almost to an obsession. I will work on me more, I promise.

But I hope that in 2016, we will see a new vision of each other as people emerge. I am aware like Gandhi said that if I want to see change in the world, I need to become that change. So I will keep working on myself, and here’s the things I would love to see in 2016 from others:

  • More people take up the responsibility of speaking out against unjust and corrupt systems. This can be done through blogging, facebook, letters, protests, emails and phone calls. It can be peaceful, but we need to let those in charge know that we the people are ready for a change.
  • Wars put on a temporary hold for the soldiers and people overseas who are dying by the hand full. Matters need to be revisited and looked at from other perspectives. It also will give a chance for the people to see what each side really wants and how to achieve both.
  • More people read the Quran and see the verses are not as violent as they are being portrayed as instead of blindly following the news and Sam Harris. There is WAY too much “Islamphobia” today, and I hope we can start to move past the fear. Not only the Quran, but maybe read everyone’s religious books to learn more and get rid of ignorance of other’s cultures and belief structures.
  • People need to take a look at their fellow beings who are sleeping on the street and try to help them with anything they can (extra food, water, shelter, money). I think we all can do a little bit better this year. I know I can, and will keep looking for ways to help those in desolate situations. Everyone should have shoes on their feet with a Payless shoe store around the U.S…maybe we can all pitch in a few dollars for shoes when we see a homeless shoeless person? I don’t know. It’s just a thought.
  • I want to see people get in touch with their sentimental nature and sensitive side more. I feel a lot of problems in society are happening because of the repressive nature of society to our emotions. Let’s stop hurting each other and see what is causing our own pain. Don’t be afraid to go within to heal the past, this year.
  • More animals being taken better care of, this hunting of wild exotic animals NOT used for food, but only for sport, needs to stop. Since when did it become fun to take a living  being’s life?
  • Abuse of children, spouses, animals need to STOP. We need to start to see that as we hurt others, we in turn our hurting our own selves…and souls. The suffering that we cause others will be done back to ourselves. More people need to wake up to this.

We can’t change the presidential candidates and the systems that control us, but we can change what we as people do for one another. Let’s create a new year that is better for all of us equally!